Blank

I’m finally running out of ideas on what to write for this blog. I’ll admit—it’s my own fault for not being attentive in class and for slacking off on blog updates. Well, doing last-minute work has always been my forte. I tend to take things for granted because, in my mind, there’s always time to get things done.

Since it’s raining outside and I haven’t showered yet, I think I’m going to pen off for now. I’m keeping my thoughts short this week because I know I’ll have plenty to say when I reach the end of this blog journey.

That’s what I call procrastination.

So brace yourselves, keep your chins up, and just wait for me. Wait for me to write the next not-so-big thing — and I promise, I won’t disappoint you.

Ciao.

Ambition

When I was younger, I dreamed of becoming a doctor, a scientist, or maybe even a veterinarian. I thought I had my life all figured out. But as time went by, I realized that dreams don’t always stay the same — they evolve, just like we do.

Our hopes and ambitions change as we grow older. The things that once excited us may no longer spark the same passion. And that’s okay. Because that’s what growing up really is — learning, unlearning, and rediscovering who you are.

Even now, at almost 20 years old, I still don’t have a clear answer to the question, “What do you want to be?” Sometimes, it makes me anxious. How can I not know by now? But deep down, I’ve come to accept that not knowing is part of the journey.

Recently, in our Proficiency English class, we were asked to choose a profession and act it out. The professions were listed based on our courses, and as I looked at the list, I found myself wondering — do we really have to be confined to what our degree says?

I chose Communication and Media because I wanted to explore something new — something that challenges me. Back in high school, I took Graphic Design, and I loved it. So, why the change? Maybe because I’m still searching for where I truly belong. And that’s not a weakness — it’s courage. The courage to keep exploring until I find what feels right.

People might think I’m lost, but I’m not. I’m learning. I’m growing.

This course has taught me more than just theories and assignments. It has helped me find my voice, to speak confidently, to connect with people. I used to be shy — people even thought I was arrogant. But really, I was just scared to open up. Now, I’m learning to see myself differently.

Still, I sometimes question my path. Maybe it’s because I’m not following the expectations others had for me. Or maybe it’s the fear of failing. But the truth is — we don’t have to fit into anyone’s idea of success.

One thing I’ve discovered is that I love writing. Even if my vocabulary isn’t perfect, my words carry pieces of who I am — and that’s what makes them beautiful. Writing gives me freedom, the same kind of freedom I feel when I imagine traveling the world. Maybe that’s why Public Relations caught my heart: “To travel is better than to arrive.”

Because life isn’t about arriving at one fixed destination.

It’s about exploring the paths in between — the detours, the doubts, the discoveries.

So when someone asks me, “What is your ambition?”

I smile and say, “I’m still figuring it out.”

Because maybe the point isn’t to have one final answer —

but to keep growing, keep learning, and keep dreaming until we find where we truly belong.

Letters to KL

A few months ago, I was feeling sluggish and insecure. While cleaning my drawer, I realized I still had a few unused stamps and envelopes. An idea popped into my head — maybe I could do something meaningful with them. So, out of boredom and a bit of nostalgia, I decided to write you a letter.

Do you remember that letter? I wrote it because I felt it was time to let out everything I’d kept unsaid. It took me three hours to gather my thoughts — tears streaming down my face, falling onto the sheets of paper. I don’t usually do things like that. I had never been so completely honest about my feelings before, and I poured all my emotions into every word I wrote.

Can you imagine the distance that letter traveled — from Damansara all the way to a small house just outside Kuala Lumpur?

Sometimes, I look back and wonder if you still keep that letter. Whether it ever crosses your mind, or if it still means anything to you. Just because everything has changed, doesn’t mean it’s wrong for me to remember how it felt at the beginning.

Even though I know you don’t feel the same anymore, I still hope you can catch the faint scent of the perfume I sprayed on that letter. Maybe, just maybe, that scent reminded you of the memories we once shared. And if that letter still lies somewhere within your sight, it comforts me to think that — in some small way — I’m still on your mind.

Bullied

I was browsing the web one day when I came across a tragic story about a girl named Amanda Todd. Amanda was just an ordinary teenager trying to live her life — but she was bullied. In fact, she was cyberbullied. All because of a few mistakes she made when she was young and naive. And because of those mistakes, her life completely changed.

She and I share the same name, so I felt an instant connection. I thought, maybe I could do something — even in words — to bring her some justice. Was it really her fault that people treated her that way? Why are we living in such a cruel and insensitive world?

Amanda had to move from one school to another because of a photo — a private photo — of her chest that a so-called “friend” posted online. To make things worse, that cruel person even created a Facebook page with that photo as the profile picture. Can you imagine how humiliating that must have been?

That poor girl was living in a nightmare. She had no one to talk to, no friends to lean on. She even had to eat lunch alone every day. Everyone judged her without knowing the full story. Yet somehow, she kept her head held high. She tried to start over, moving to another school in hopes that things would finally get better.

But fate was unkind. One day, she ran into her old “friend.” Her girlfriend and a group of others bullied her again — they kicked, punched, and tormented her. With no one to confide in, Amanda eventually tried to take her own life. And as if that pain wasn’t enough, people continued to post hateful comments on her Facebook page, saying things like, “You should kill yourself.” How could anyone be so heartless?

I feel so deeply for that poor girl. How could someone do something so cruel? Before she died, Amanda posted a video on YouTube using flashcards to tell her story — her pain, her fear, and her loneliness. It was her way of reaching out, hoping someone would listen.

But a month later, she took her own life.

If I had known her, I would have comforted her. I would have told her that things would be okay. I would have reminded her that mistakes don’t define who we are — and that she was more than what people said about her. A girl like Amanda just needed someone to talk to. Someone to care.

We need to do something. We need to stop bullying and cyberbullying. We need to raise awareness so that people like Amanda don’t lose hope and end their lives. The saddest part is, Amanda isn’t the only one. There are so many others like her — suffering silently, bullied for being different, blamed for their pain.

It’s time we stand up, speak out, and fight against this cruelty — to make the world a kinder, safer place.

Rest in peace, Amanda Todd.

May your soul be blessed, and may justice find its way to you.